[DECEMBER 2011.]
Down the rabbit hole
Cars were bunched like mad on the 101 near San Francisco International Airport, and we started to wonder why everyone would be fleeing the country on a Saturday night. My thought was that the masks had finally come off the lizard people. So how does it shake out?
Obama: lizard person
Boehner: lizard person
Pelosi: not a lizard person
Lieberman: surprisingly, no, that's just the way he is
Geithner: catches flies with tongue, changes color during interviews
Dept. of Agriculture: 100% lizard people
Dept. of Labor: 80% lizard people
Supreme Court: all lizard people except, oddly, Kagan, whose jaw hits the floor during the first deliberation
Romney: lizard person
Perry: intended as lizard person, but the download cut off halfway
Bachmann: raised from birth to believe herself a lizard person, stares in mounting horror as the masks drop from everyone else, leaving her alone untransformed
