I just found a fragment from Hecataeus, a Greek historian preceding Herodotus, most of whose work is sadly not extant:
Orestheus, son of Deukalion, came to Aitolia for a kingdom and his dog gave birth to a log, and he ordered it to be buried, and from it grew a vine with many grapes. Thus he also named his own son Phytios. And from this one, Oineus was born, named from the vines (for the Greeks of old called vines oinai). And from Oineus was born Aitolos.
Question: if your dog gave birth to a log, what kind of orders would you be giving?