<= 2020.10

[JANUARY 2021.]

Sōjun Mel Weitsman (1929-2021)

I only knew him at Berkeley Zen Center for a couple of years, but that much listening and a few quiet encounters were more than enough to be certain I was in the presence of wisdom, and wisdom that knew to wear itself lightly. I’ve encountered the trait elsewhere, but not often, and never in someone whose position of authority enabled him to do so much good.

There have been so many tributes over the last few days, public and private. I hadn't known that he was given the same name on ordination as Ikkyū. That astounds me; everything I knew of his manner was so mild and measured. But perhaps those contraries coincide as well.

Hakuryū Sōjun Daiōshō


Fending off the devil in georgia

seems like it’s rainin all over the world

turn up the volume

the opposite of bullshit

well I’m not the world’s most physical guy

The kid in elementary school who taunted me with the name “Pauline.” I don’t remember who he was; the image comes up of a thick-necked lout, budding Fred Flintstone. How did he even know the name? Were his parents film critics?

When Joyce’s names were recorded on his birth certificate, his middle name was misspelled, and so he was registered as James Augusta Joyce (rather than James Augustine Joyce). Joyce later uses a similar slip for Bloom’s name in Ulysses: Bloom’s name is recorded as Leopold Paula Bloom rather than Leopold Paul Bloom on his birth certificate.

I have never done anything creepy like track IPs on the comment box (or even look at usage or referrer logs, really) but I wish I had some way of knowing who it was that asked me to improve my attitude about heteronormativity and Joyce in 2005, because at the time I didn’t want to acknowledge that my attitude needed improving, and the response I gave wasn’t adequate.

everything’s so easy for Pauline

Aaron Hoover (1978-2020)

Hoov is present, anyhow implicitly, around the first year of this site (written 20 years ago by an idiot, please don't put weight on it, but is part of the “we” who felt old at 22 going to see Weezer in decline, for instance). A few months before I started writing here, I crashed for the summer on his couch in the Western Addition. He was a year ahead of me in getting out of college: a big deal then, I thought of him as worldly-wise. Took up bass duties in our band without much experience and put all his heart into learning the instrument. Wanted us to cover “Subbacultcha,” which shows exactly the right ludic sense even if it outstripped my abilities as a vocalist. A generosity with no second thoughts, to let me and my library suitcase sprawl all over his room for two months, thereby subsidizing the bad novel draft I wrote at Café Abir before driving out to Iowa with Jen and subsequently failing to conquer the world. It all only just happened. When I find myself around Fulton and Divisadero I swear it’s still happening.


Dating for everyone. Just do it! Follow this link: [link suppressed]

2. Sketchbook

HAL 9000 takes off its crown and walks in disguise among the common soldiers.

Things base and vile, holding no quantity,
Love can transpose to form and dignity

οὐκ ἔστ’ ἔτυμος λόγος οὗτος,
οὐδ’ ἔβας ἐν νηυσὶν ἐυσσέλμοις
οὐδ’ ἵκεο πέργαμα Τροίας
(you never went to Troy)

3. Fragmenta adespota

] injured mockingbird,
nymph syrinx, rings all registers of song
but grips the wire with one foot only.
I would write more if I were more lonely.

<= 2020.10

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